It was Ben.
This is how the conversation went:
Ben: "Hey....um....the ironman is coming to St. George next May, and this is the first time that it will be in St. George, and registration is open right now. The race will probably be full in about an hour....so.......should I do it or not?"
Me: Silent. Not sure what to say. (I feel like quoting Po on Kung Fu Panda here, "Well, I didn't actually say it, but if they could've read my mind, they would've been like, 'what?'") This is of course only funny if you imagine Po saying this just as he does in the movie. Thank you Jack Black. But maybe even then it isn't that funny. moving on.
Ben: "I have all of my information entered into the registration form, I just need to finish the final step."
Me: "Well, how are you going to train for the ironman and study for actuarial exams? And you know that we would like to have another baby. That might be exactly when the baby is due.
Ben: "I know. I don't know what to do because it is right here, and I can train when we visit my parents and I don't have to travel that far."
Me: "I don't want to be the one to make the final decision. You decide."
We talked about some other pros and cons and then right when I was in the middle of a sentence, he said,
"It's done. I signed up. I just pushed the button."
Me: "Okay. I'll talk to you when you get home from work."
I can't say that when I got the phone call I was extremey excited. I liked our plans how they were, and making room for such a large time commitment seemed like an improv adventure that we didn't need at the moment. Ben had just graduated, and I was liking the extra time the girls and I got with him.
I had always wanted him to accomplish this goal, and never wanted to discourage him, but I thought that he would take it one step at a time. First he would run a marathon, then he would do some sprint triathlons, and then maybe a century ride or two. Nope.
Not my husband.
He signed up for the king of all triathlons as his first of everything.
He did not have a bike.
He did not like to run.
He hadn't really practiced swim with a racing style since he was on swim team as a boy.
He had two fairly recent knee surgeries, and felt his knee was a little "loose."
And, when he had just started his training, he found out that he had some thyroid issues that were draining a lot of his energy.
None of the circumstances seemed accomodating to his goal. And a baby was on the way.
The pregnancy was my hardest. When the sickness hit at five weeks, I was on the couch pretty much all day long just waiting to run to the bathroom. I couldn't do anything. Ben would leave for work in the morning and come home to everything as he had left it. I took care of the girls' basic needs, and that was all I could do. Many times his training was put aside so he could be both mom and dad while I just tried to take things one day at a time.
One evening as we were getting into bed, and were both feeling the stress of the days and weeks of sickness and exhaustion, we discussed the feelings of discouragement concerning the ironman commitment. Ben said to me, "If the ironman training ever brings contention into our home, I do not want to do it. Nothing is worth that."
Such a revealing and simple phrase.
He revealed where his heart was, while declaring that even a worthy dream or goal isn't as important as the condition of the family and home. It meant a lot.
The gratitude I felt that night helped ease the pain of relentless nausea.
I was given a blessing by my father and Ben at the beginning of my pregnancy, and was told that Ben and I "make a good team."
I fell asleep that night knowing it was true.
We are a good team.
Ben bought his first road bike.
Ben worked hard.
Ben sacrificed.
Ben ran.
Ben swam.
Ben learned a lot.
We all sacrificed time.
It was a family affair. We took the girls to the pool. We spent many family home evenings at the BYU indoor track. Ben got skinnier and I got fatter. Thank you Brooklyn. We followed daddy on his bike up ridiculous hills and the girls cheered for him. In some ways, I cherish those training days more than the actual race. Hearing those little voices from the back of the car, cheering their daddy on, was inspiring.
It was real.
(At one point Boston yelled, "You can do it dad. There are no snakes and no bears!")
Families cheer for each other. Families believe in each other. Families include God. They need Him.
Families love each other. Each has his or her time of need. Each has his or her time to accomplish something great.
Ded-i-ca-tion: Self-sacrificing devotion
Ben crossed the finish line at 15:24:23.
"Proud" is just not going to do it for me. It was so much more than that. Watching him cross was a triumph for our little family. It taught us that we can do difficult things. We can be there for each other no matter the genre of race, or the obstacles at hand.
Who declares a victory? Not time. Not circumstance. Not people. Thank heaven for that.
Ben's race was on a Saturday. The next day in church we sang hymn number 85.
"I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand."
These words took on new meaning for me that day.
Watching Ben and all the other athletes finish the ironman gave me a new reverence for the human body. Really, the race wasn't about what the human body can do. It was about what the human spirit can do with the gift of a body. The finish line was incredible.
A few people crashed on their bikes and broke their collar bones. They finished the race. One man finished the race with one leg. A few were in their seventies. One was a mother of six. One finished twenty seconds after the midnight cut-off. Some were taken in wheelchairs at the finish.
But they finished.
Some were handed circumstances that kept them from the finish. But all were there with the belief that a finish was possible. This was something worth achieving.
"The heights by great men reached and kept
Were not attained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept,
Were toiling upward in the night."
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I married someone who believes in dreams.
And I am so glad.
These pictures are of Ben waiting in line, the Friday before the race, to get his number tattooed on both arms and his age tattooed on his leg.
We woke up at 4:15 to get Ben to the Bus on time. Ben's Mom and cousins were in the water at four in the morning to volunteer as lifeguards in fifty degree water. The morning really was beautiful, and there wasn't really too much wind while the athletes completed the swim. But there were a lot of athletes being pulled out for hypothermia. Ben completed the swim in one hour and twenty-one minutes. He did a great job, and jumped right on his bike. I think I cried at every transition. No.
I am not kidding.
These are all the age-groupers waiting to get into the water. They blow the cannon for the pros at 6:45am and the rest of the athletes start at 7:00. I went over to the start to try and see Ben among 2200 athletes....and I actually saw him before he got in the water, but my camera wasn't on!! Are you kidding me?! Oh well. Typical Brooke style. I do have him on video swimming out to the start, but that is it.
Waiting for dad to come by during the bike portion, but we missed him by five minutes. Luckily we saw him at each transition.
Ben's Mom and her cousin Mike from Florida. He has done Florida Ironman twice, and he came to volunteer at this ironman.
Al of the kids fell asleep at the finish line. All except Scout of course.
Thank you to everyone who was there and who supported our family in this endeavor all year long. We love you. You have waited for us at more than one finish line.
