Mary Ann

Three years ago today I was five months pregnant with my Scout and dear Grandma Tuckett passed away at the young age of sixy-nine. I wish my children, and even Ben could know her as I know her, and who she still is- Up there in heaven.

Someday.

I have been thinking about her all day today.

And how wherever she was there seemed to be mischief, laughter, and life in all its real forms.

I miss her terribly.

When we found out Grandma had cancer we started the rollercoaster ride so many have been through before when dealing with the implications of the future.

I was reading my journal entries from this difficult time.

These entries and excerpts capture it best:

03/13/05

"I don't know if my grandma is dying. Something tells me she is fighting inside. This weekend when I hugged her she felt so small and tender. Her eyes are different now. She looks at everyone so differently.

One more minute.

My Grandma doing a tap dance, riding her bike, playing jax, red shoes, red earings, red socks, bubble gum, nursing an animal - Classic

My Grandma- Full of life- She's holding on to every moment. I'm holding on to every memory. And together we are praying and holding on to the right now.

Love changes everything- Or so I have been shown by my short, blue-eyed, spunk drenched, hilariously celebrated Grandma."

"Ben and I went to Idaho to see Grandma Tuckett in the hospital-

We knew she was dying-

When Grandma touched my tummy Scout kicked. . . The veil seemed thin. . . She was at the end of her life, my baby was at the beginning, and I was, and am, somewhere in the middle. I felt a great responsibility in that moment.

On Sunday October twenty-thrird I lost my grandma. . . But I know she is not truly lost. I know where she is. But that doesn't keep me from longing and missing her and what she is.

I worry about Grandpa- His pal is gone for now, and I cry about his pain-

What are you doing Grandma?

Are you looking over my shoulder helping me along? I know you are someone's angel- You are still mine. . . I love you. I miss you.

Thank Heaven you knew what living meant.

Thank Heaven for you. My Grandma.

My Friend."

Knowing that the Savior was resurrected, how can we not shout for joy? For he made it possible that we might be with them again.
We might be with them again.

Rise and Shout the Cougars are Out!

Yes, we still cheer for BYU. The TCU wake-up call is behind us, and we are ready for UNLV. Right? Anyway, BYU homecoming was a few weekends ago, and it was fun to go to the small-town annual homecoming parade. This is my kind of parade. You show up just as it starts and get a front row seat, and it only lasts long enough for you to get the parade experience. There is more candy than the fourth of July parade (because no one is there to fight for it), and there are a few random people and "things" in the parade (like the tooth you are about to see) that don't even have a banner or a name. They just walk in the parade and everyone cheers for them.
I thought about getting a cool car and riding in it with a sign on the side that just said, "Brooke Kamalu" and see how many claps and cheers I could get.

If I am not mistaken, there was a club in this parade last year proudly waving a banner that said, "The Tony Danza Club." That was the same year that some parade marchers just dusted the bleachers where we were sitting with flour. Yeah. Everyone was just clapping and yelling and then out of nowhere they (and us) were all clovered in flour for no apparent reason. It was one of those moments where you look at everyone around you and think, "Did that just happen?" But no one really says anything.

It was so hysterical- Silence- Look at eachother- Continue clapping and cheering-

So this year we didn't have any flour worries or Tony Danza fanatics (now that I think of it the men's swim team wasn't freezing their butts off in just Speedos in the back of a truck either). It was a little chilly, but the candy just kept coming, and Boston and Scout kept looking at each other and around the crowd to see if it was really for them. After it was all over Scout asked me, "Mom why were they throwing all this candy to me?" She was wondering just why they were so glad she came, and what it was all about. :)

For many reasons I love Provo in the fall. BYU football is one of those reasons.

Grandma Karen even came up to stay with us and went to the game with a friend. It was great to have her here, and Scout and Boston loved playing and talking with her. Scout thought she was so cool when Grandma Karen bought her some glow-in-the-dark lipstick and fingernail polish. We even went for a short visit to Grandma and Grandpa Morgan's house, and the girls created a forty-minute clean up mess in five minutes with cupcakes.

Ben had to work Saturday, and we (myself the most) missed him. But he did make it over to Grandma and Grandpa Reeves' house a little before the game was over, and he was just in time to help corall the little ones.

If you listen real close on game day you might hear us yelling "Go Cougars!" or in Scout's case, "GO BIU!"

Boston decided to just adapt the permanent wave.
Scout wasn't sure about the cold weather at first.
So much candy. Such a little hand.
I love this picture of her chubby little hands just packing it all in.
Okay, maybe he did have a point..brush your teeth after all that candy kids- OR maybe he is a lone protester who wanted to abolish throwing candy at parades. Maybe he belonged to the dental club and got lost because he couldn't see. Not sure. At any rate, he (or she) was proud to be in the grand BYU homecoming parade, and we clapped for a tooth.

BranDee and I were speechless over the dance moves of the Medieval club.
Like I said, Boston and Scout were astonished that all this candy was for them.
Is that girl wearing high heels in a parade? These umbrella dancers were....spirited (not sure..never seen it before. Maybe they were chosen to replace the Tony Danza club).

This was only the beginning of the cupcake mess.

9th of October 1982- The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me

Twenty-six big ones ago, Benjamin Keahi was born. Unbeknown to me of course (I still had a month in heaven) October ninth 1982 was the best thing that ever happened to me. It is plain strange to think that I spent twenty-one of these years without him. But the years apart turned him into the man I married- Yes!
So, I just wanted to wish him a BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY! The girls and I could not do without him. We need him every day. We love him.
His birthday dinner of choice this year was carne asada tacos, and apple and pecan pie with vanilla ice cream.
It was a "mighty fine" meal (to steal the Texas phrase).

AND NOW: 26 Reasons Why I LOVE Ben (In honor of his 26 years of course)

1. He sings loud and jubilantly when one of his favorite songs is playing, and he usually never gets the lyrics completely right.
2. He randomly starts doing dance moves while getting things done around the house, and believe me, they are worth watching.
3. He loves Otter Pops so much he eats three or four at a time. He even eats them in the shower.
4. He is the only one who can simply raise his eye brows in answer to a yes or no question and I know what the answer is.
5. He lets me talk and talk and talk and talk and talk......
6. He listens and listens and listens and listens.....
7. He allows me a couple dunks (but just a couple) in his "OREO" milk. This is a big sacrifice if you know how much Ben loves his Oreos and the milk that goes with them.
7. He chops my onions for me when I start to cry.
8. He wipes my real tears when they aren't because of onions.
9. He has a thoughtful heart. When I was pregnant with Scout and I was feeling very, well, NOT cute, he came home from work with a brown paper bag. He handed it to me and said, "Here is some perfume so you can feel beautiful." Just that statement made me laugh until I felt better.
10. He believes in me.
11. He has a "perfect food" for almost every situation. (i.e. Peanut M&M's are the best study food, A Granny's pink cookie and Sprite are best when working outside on a hot summer day, Yogurt is best after everything you eat, and Oreos (six oreos to be exact) are good with milk at about 10:00 pm at night).
12. He talks about his dreams and goals as if they were already his, and he relates them with passion.
13. He believes less is more. (Especially when we go on vacation and I pack the house).
14. One time when I thought there was a robber in our first house he said he would go upstairs where I heard the noise and check it out. He came back down to our room and said there wasn't anything, but after a minute admitted to taking a knife with him.
15. He stayed up with me until one in the morning trying to catch a little mouse that wanted to move in with us. He even let me pray that we would catch it. We did.
16. He loves his daughters and teaches them what is right. The other day, I overheard a conversation he was having with Scout:

Scout: "Dad, where are you going?"
Dad: "To work."
Scout: "Why?"
Dad: "So you can have food and clothes. Do you want food and clothes?"
Scout: "No."
Dad: "Well, you will make a good wife someday."
His little joke kept me laughing and smiling for at least an hour.

17. He does not depart from right.
18. He cleans the toilet and the tub.
19. He makes fabulous fried rice.
20. He serves and sacrifices.
21. He wants to be great.
22. He explains international exchange rates and other economic principles to me even though I don't understand. I just smile.
23. He likes to try new things. Except sometimes he believes with his LEATHERMAN he can do anything, and I caught him trying to cut his fingernails with the knife- I told him to stop.
24. He is patient with me.
25. He is kind, determined, funny without meaning to be, simple, sweet, and true. (I had to squeeze a few more in)
26. He loves me.

Yes, October 9th was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Here is to another GREAT year!!

Birthday Dessert
Our little family at his celebration

The Day Aubrey (or the Caramel Stealer) Came

Aubrey wanted to be a boy for the first three years of her life, and as far as she was concerned, she was. I still remember having word wars with her that went something like this, "Aubrey, you are a girl." (Aub) "No! I'm a boy!"(Brooke) "Girl!" (Aub) "Boy!"
Finally I would just give in and say, "Okay, you are a boy." This kept her from crying because she was usually tearing up at this point. We would all try to tell her what a pretty little girl she was and that didn't go over well either.

Aub knew how to work the VCR when she was two, and pulled her pigtails out as she was leaving the bathroom from having them done. She would run around with dents in her hair where her elastics had been, and cried the Christmas she didn't get a wooden treasure box like all the grandsons at the family Christmas party (Grandma and Gramps got her one anyway). She would find all the roly poly bugs she could find and drown them in the little play house on the back porch. When she was asked as a little girl why we have Dads she said, "to help us find bugs."

She graciously ate the whole bowl of dog food I fed her when I was seven and she was one, and she was the only one who would cry when I said I was going to run away. She was the victim of my fascination with the "all-new" bed clip-on lights that came complete with a stylish curly telephone cord and seemed to have emerged in the late eighties.

I still remember lifting her little eleven-month-old body onto my parents bed and then shoving a big stack of books right beside her. I carefully turned the reading light on, and started to read stories to her. Then it happened- I just couldn't keep my kindergarten hands from showing Aubrey just how nifty this reading light was. I unclipped the light (a hot light mind you) and started to show and tell Aubrey all about it. OOPS! too close! I singed the end of her nose, and the poor thing had to be Rudolph for the family Easter Egg hunt. I still remember the sizzle sound of skin on light bulb. Aub didn't want to read books with me anymore (For a while at least).

Aub would always jump into my lap when the T-Rex would show up while watching Land Before Time and she had a love affair with K'NEX and could build anything and everything. She went through a phase when she wanted us to call her Carlos, and I think she also named her girl doll Carlos. ( I'm laughing- Yes, I am laughing)
And she is the only girl I know who got tired of shopping for her prom dress and told my Mom she could pick it out.

Aubrey is sweet. Aubrey is kind. Aubrey is smart. Aubrey is the blonde. Aubrey is the youngest. Aubrey serves. Aubrey doesn't do crafts. Aubrey loves her family. Aubrey loves golf. Aubrey is an athlete. Aubrey gives red cards to the poor sports of BYU intramurals (something I have always wanted to do). Aubrey is brave. Aubrey will do great things.

But no one will forget the night Aubrey stole caramels from Smith's grocery store.

I think she was four or five. It was after FHE (of course) and we all packed into our white Dodge Caravan, and went to Smith's. Aubrey was styling black stretch pants and a tie-dye minnie mouse shirt with her pigtails pulled out (I'm sure my outfit also had something to do with stretch pants). We all went into the store and picked a treat, and got some other items, but didn't notice that we walked right by the bulk candy bins. I'm not sure what happened in between-All I know is that Aubrey was the first one to the van, and once inside jumped into the trunk, (behind the back seats) and I heard a mysterious crinkling noise...hmm....it started to sound familiar.....I looked back at Aubrey and she had little square shapes poking through her stretch pants.

She quickly tried to cover the caramel looking shapes with her t-shirt, but it was too late! Her mouth was full, and the crime had been committed. She had to go into the store with Dad and pay for her mischief. I'm not sure what we learned in family home evening that night, but we all learned that stretch pants are not a good place to hide caramels.

We celebrated that day twenty years ago when the caramel stealer came to our family by going to Power Tumbling and as Napoleon would say "showing all our sweet skills." It was a blast, and we all laughed, got injured, tried not to wet our pants (the moms at least), laughed some more, and made a great memory. We love you Carlos, wait, I mean Aubrey. (Hey, maybe your spy name could be Carlos the Caramel Stealer) Happy Birthday!

All of us
The girls

Birthday Girl

This "PIT" is stronger than you think. You have to wrestle just to get out.

Ben might qualify for the London olympic games.

I might not.

If anyone wants me to do this move again just ask.

This is Ethan with his pink-eye and a big loving bite on his face from Jakey. Scout is obviously distracted. :)

Ben got in this huge wheel and Dad and Scott pushed him around.

Look! The birthday flip!

Go Cade!